Tuesday, May 21, 2019

73 Questions

i wasnt tagged for this, but i thought it would be fun....  p.s. i got this from " Vogue Parody: 73 Questions with Mikaela"

so here it goes:

1.) What's your usual Starbucks order? - depends on the weather... i enjoy drinking london fogs, i also enjoy pumpkin spice lattes (decaf) when it's the season. i enjoy drinking the smores frap when it's summer (if they have it). i also enjoy drinking the strawberries and cream without the whipped cream).

2.) What does your workstation look like? - i dont really work... when i paint, im on my bed (i have towels underneath me and over my legs.. but i still end up wearing paint. however my bed doesnt get paint on it. the computer is on this plastic folding table, and i have random junk on it.

3.) All-time favourite food? - thanksgiving dinner

4.) Favourite Author? - when i was able to read books, i enjoyed reading ted dekker.

5.) What do you think of open relationships? - you can have them for all i care, but dont plan on dating me while you're in one. 

6.) Guilty pleasure treat? - i really enjoy eating honey ham by itself but i also enjoy having grated cheese on top of apple sauce... 

7.) Favourite Movie? - i probably will have to say happy feet.

8.) Favourite book? - i had many favourite books from ted dekker, but because of my eyesight and how my brain doesnt allow me to enjoy reading books and it's very stressfull and frustrating, just trying to come up with a favourite book has me almost in tears, because i miss reading books. but ill say Skin by Ted Dekker. i also loved Showdown by Ted Dekker.

9.) Twitter or Instagram? - my art account is more popular than my main account on instagram. even tho my instagram is much older, has more followers, and posts the same art pictures as my art account does. but i average way more likes on my art than my main and it pisses me off. so ill have to say twitter. i am more known on twitter than i am on instagram. and twitter brings me in blog traffic too. i also have more friends on twitter than i do on instagram. and the way instagram has changed over the years, twitter is a much better format (besides them thinking im a robot).

10.) Are you a desktop or a laptop person? - since i said computer, i most likely am a desktop person. i dont like the mouse on a laptop, plus i dont own a laptop.

11.) Best advice you've ever received? - you should stop giving away your art.

12.) What project are you working on right now? - the project of waiting for summer, because im tired of this damn cold weather. no projects here.

13.) Favourite colour? - pink

14.) Did you get good grades in school? - for the most part, no.

15.) Dream job? - i dont have one. however, i would love to have an art gallery at some point in my artist life. and be able to showcase my art for everyone to see. but that's not really a job, more like just having a dream.

16.) Played any sports? - i used to be a dancer, but that stopped when i had foot issues where i couldnt walk for a couple weeks. and when i got back to my classes, i missed to much so i just stopped. i also played sports in school... volleyball (i really wasnt that great, but i was better at it than basketball). i was on a badminton team in school, we all sucked compare to the people we were playing against. i used to jump over hurdles until i had a bad hurdle accident that basically fucked up my life for good. i also was on a track and field team where id do short sprints and shot put/discus (i sucked). umm i also used to bike a lot on trails and such. but that stopped when i reinjuried my injury i had with the hurdle accident that even fucked up my life even more. so now, i swim and i fish.

17.) Do you have a degree? - does a highschool diploma count?

18.) Nationality? - i myself was born in canada... based on the whole dna test thing, im made up of other countries and what not. it really goes over my head. 

19.) What's your favourite kind of blog post to do? - uh, probably my venting ones because i get a lot out in a very short amount of time.

20.) What do you like to collect? - movie stubs, cool looking coins, pins, random stuff

21.) Describe yourself in 3 words. - (not a question) uh, blah, meh

22.) If you were a rapper, what would your rapper name be? - Wrapped Troll (this is why im not a rapper)

23.)  Who was the last person you DM'd? - i honestly do not know, i kinda dont put that to memory

24.) What's on the top of your wish list right now? - summer

25.)  Sorting house? - i dunno what this is

26.) How many tattoos do you have? - 0

27.) What are you most grateful for this year? - the ability to sell art (even tho i suck at it, but hey i manged to sell some art).

28.) What's the best thing that's happened to you this month? - i night sat a house :)

29.)  What's the best thing that happened to you today? - since today is now tomorrow, ill say ive made it to tomorrow and it does exist.

30.) What's the best thing ever? - umm

31.) Favourite season? - summer

32.) Favourite holiday? - thanksgiving

33.) What fictional character do you relate to the most? - i have no clue

34.)  Do you like surprises? - only the good kinds

35.) What's the biggest surprise you ever had? - i cant really say

35.) What's the surprise that made you cry? - when i meet people that i follow on social media

36.) What's the best surprise you've ever given someone? - i cant really say

37.) Do you like muffins? - yes

38.) Do you cook often? - does using a microwave count? if not, no. if it does, still no.

39.) What's your favourite dessert? - something delicious 

40.)  Is there a desert you dont like? - the gross ones

41.) Cake or pie? - a slice of each please

42.) What's your least favourite food? - coconut (gross)

43.) What's your favourite condiment? - is cheese one?

44.) It's 4am on a Saturday night, what would you eat? - leftovers if we have any, if not perhaps a frozen dinner (turkey dinner)

45.) If you could teach a college class, what would it be called? - "Got Hands? Use Them!"

46.) Best animated film? - trolls

47.) What has a guy done or said to impress you? - "would you like to be in my music video?" or something like that. and btw, i was in his music video

48.) Best thing to do on a first date? - decide if there's a relationship or not

49.)  Worst thing to do on a first date? - lie

50.) What's the funniest pick-up line a guy could use on a girl? - uh

51.) Best comic book character? - i dont really read comics

52.) What are 3 things that are always in your purse? - pads, tictacs, and money of some sort.

53.) Favourite drink? - pop

54.) If you could play a historical figure in a movie who would it be? - some famous tree, ive always wanted to be a tree. 

55.) Kittens or puppies? - puppies

56.) Favourite sushi roll? - air

57.) What kind of lipstick do you use? - i dont wear lipstick

58.) What kind of foundation do you use? - i dont wear foundation

59.) Blow dry or air dry? - towel dry, air dry, and blow dry a well. but most of the time i use a towel and then the blow drier.

60.) Who is your favourite fashion icon? - uh

61.) Favourite Disney Character? - my favourite disney movie is cinderella, so ill pick her. 

62.) What are you doing tomorrow? - the usual (whatever i feel like doing that happens to be in this house..)

63.) Movie you laughed the hardest through? - ive seen so many i cant even think of an answer

64.) Movie that made you cry? - too many to name.. but My Dog Skip.

65.) If you could sing a duet with someone, who would it be? - SHATON! 

67.) If your life was a song, what would the title be? - i dunno

68.) What's your favourite animal? - pigs & penguin

69.) Favourite illustrator? - uh

70.) Person you want to have coffee with? - my future husband

71.) What's the country you wish to visit? - Barcelona 

72.) Best way to decompress? - venting on my blog, eat something, watch tv, and go to sleep.

73.) i forgot a question somewhere along the line.. so the question i missed is.... Favourite video game? - uh, i havent played one in a long time (the games i do have are like cooking mama ones, i used to get olympic games ones, other racing ones, i have a scrabble game, and other ones... i cant really pick a favourite because i get bored easily.)

Monday, May 13, 2019


(my friend wrote "Better to just throw everything on the table and chalk it up as a lesson on the sort of folks you DO want in your life - and the one's that you definitely do not.")

messages to my friend:

yeah that is what ive been doing on social media. like i removed my dad's side of the family years ago. and i removed them this sunday morning from instagram. i dont want to attend any weddings or anything of that sort. i learned a lot from my geido's funeral and now with nana's funeral it's like this isnt worth it to me. even with the whole thing im dealing with from my ex, in finally blocked him on facebook. i deleted everything from him, threw out a lot of stuff that was for him or from him. i didnt want it. and those dumpster diverse can find my stuff and wear it for all i care. i also unfriened like 200 people that i added from the bahamas.. i kept the ones i actually talk to and i believe are my friends. i deleted my famous people blog i didnt want that anymore. i removed over 1000 people i was following from instagram. most of them are bahamian accounts. like bahamas was my happy place for 20 years. this year 2019, it's not my happy place and honestly i dont want anything to do with it. they are a bunch of conartists and liars and they fake support people, and ive been hated so many times for doing what i do and it's not worth it to me. and my ex pretty much told me that no one actually cares what i write about, because the whole time i was with him he had no clue who these people are or know that the people he knew were artists. like i dont need that shit in my life either. like me being a 29 year old im trying to figure out my purpose in life still and im still struggling every damn day to feel like ive fit in but i never will be that because i dont fit in with the norm, the popular life, or anything. i just continue doing me. blocking and deleting things. and avoiding people as best as i can.


they basically are a hustling country. full of con artists galore. they are always selling stuff. they bread animals and sell them, and most of them are like puppy mills they are just after money. like they sell unhealthy looking pitbulls for thousands of dollars. they sell potcakes which are mixed breed you cant even say who the parents are because they are mixed as well. like there are a lot of incest dogs (like breeding with your siblings to make babies to sell them and start again.) it's disgusting really.
the hate group i was apart of was just effed up i tell you. it had nothing to do with learning about the country. which is what the description is. it's about how many people can you hate in your post. most of the people who post are attention seekers they dont care about nothing post shit and get hundreds of likes they are there for the drama.

and if you are not from the bahamas, you are hated by default. and even if you are bahamian, youll still be hated by default because you're not them at all. if you are
light skinned you are hated, if you are dark skinned you are hated. if you are white skin go kill yourself. like it's fucked up.
my ex is a huge example of why i never would date bahamians. i thought i could get a slide because he's part haitian as well. but no, he's just like everyone else in that country, he's a liar. the whole thing as in i dont do porn for my videos, or i dont do this raunchy stuff blah blah blah. we arent like that. we dont even like them swearing and we tell them not too. this year 2019, their page is a porn site, their videos are porn. youve seen what they are doing. that is not at all what i was told from the start. plus, i never was one of them, i was lied to from the start.
everything i was told was a lie.

he didnt come to canada because he wanted too. he came because that's what boyfriends are supposed to do. the two weeks he was here meant nothing to him, and i found that out this past decemeber when he didnt understand why i was crying for christmas because he wasnt here. he regretted sending me stuff for vday the year before. again he sent stuff because that's what a boyfriend is supposed too. but he couldnt send me stuff this year. even the relationship itself wasnt supposed to be a relationship. he thought dating me would be seeing me. not be in a relationship. and it's like no. you knew exactly what i wanted when you met me and he went ahead and kissed me. i even asked him if we're gf and bf and he said yes. but apparently that isnt a relationship?! he even got pissed when i changed that as my status. like wtf.

i learned alot from the relationship when he took his sweet as time coming back to canada. he wasnt
going to come back. i knew that in december i gave him 3 months and still nothing. he even went to Alabama for 5 days and told me that he couldnt even take that much time off for work because work effed him up. that's why he couldnt come to canada. he gave me so many excuses for why he couldnt come back but yet he had all the time in the world to go to Alabama. or to do this and that.

and his best friend who told me i was his friend for life. he ghosted me in september. he never appeared when i was on vacation and he knew i
had stuff for him too. like who the fuck does that.

like they are all lies. and dont get me started on other
people saying their music is going to drop on this date __ nothing comes. im waiting on music videos from 2 years ago, im waiting on albums to drop still nothing. this one "friend" who clearly understood what i was going through with my ex.. lied to me already 2 times over huge stuff. one about contacting shaton, he contacted the wrong person. even tho i gave him all the information he needed and he still couldnt do the right thing. he lied about when his ep is dropping, it's been a month and still no ep.
like they all say they support each other, ive proved that wrong so many times already it doesnt take long. they all believe they are the best rapper in the 242 that has been wrong since day 1. they all say they know each other, that's also a lie. they say they dont do circles or cliques, when really every circle i was part of their ring leader hated me with a passion. because i proved to them they had egos, and they had problems, and people actually dont like them but everyone likin man (sucking up). but because i told the real honest truth about what im actually thinking, i got hated instantly.

like the one dude who told me that all my friends are fake because social media is make believe or whatever the fuck he said. okay.. he has like what 100s of jobs.. he bought probably thousands of books that he was the
illustrator of... if you bought the book on amazon it would cost you like 7 bucks. he sold the book on facebook from like 20$ to 30$ and it's like anyone who goes on amazon knows you are over pricing. and people know you're scamming everyone.

and he told me he only goes on facebook to do business but yet here he is talking to me. and im like i havent bought a single thing from you. he talked about my ex so damn much too and how i should be spending my time with him not on social media.. umm does he not know i dont live in the same country?!

ugh. that whole country i just dislike.

and the weird thing is, i mentioned about this months ago. that i could delete
everything and no one would noticed. all the people i removed, no one has added me back. no one has even messaged me. even the people who are my friends and ive met in the bahamas and had supper with and such, they havent even noticed, they havent talked to me, nothing. and it's like see i told you all, no one cares what i do or dont do.
the more active i am the more hate i receive. the less active i am, i dont exist.

it's flippen frustrating. like a lot of my friends , came friends with my ex because of me. and it's like ive been ditched because my ex is better even tho he isnt,
because he doesnt talk to people as he says. and he only talks to people because he doesnt want to be an asshole and that's why he doesnt say no. even tho he has no clue what is happening because i myself even warned him what was going to happen and he didnt do anything he just became toxic.
like im glad im not going on vacation this month. i dont really want to go in september. but there's a handfull of people id like to connect with. but ive been broken far too many times by the people who were supposed to have my back or supposed to be on my sided and who promised they werent like my exes.
like if you tried to go to another vacation spot with me, id like fight you on it because i vacation in the bahamas. now , id be like anywhere but bahamas id go to.

ive known about the lifeguards for years how they lie to tourists.
they act like they are all single and what not to get free stuff. but when you add them to social media, they are taken as can be. they are married, they may have children. they have girlfriends and wives.. but that's bahamians. ive known that since i was a kid.
they put on an act. they screw everyone over and themselves. and they continue doing it. until they are dead.

ill go find palm trees, warm ocean, and the heat somewhere else. i cant continue living in this lie they all believe is the the truth.

also: knowing that the trip advisory moved up to #2 shows that the country isnt getting better and not taking things seriously either or trying to get a handle on everything..

"Violent crime, such as burglaries, armed robberies, and sexual assault, occurs even during the day and in tourist areas. Although the family islands are not crime-free, the vast majority of crime occurs on New Providence and Grand Bahama islands. U.S. government personnel are not permitted to visit the area known by many visitors as the Sand Trap area in Nassau due to crime. Activities involving commercial recreational watercraft, including water tours, are not consistently regulated. Watercraft are often not maintained, and many companies do not have safety certifications to operate in The Bahamas. Jet-ski operators have been known to commit sexual assaults against tourists. As a result, U.S. government personnel are not permitted to use jet-ski rentals on New Providence and Paradise Islands."

"Level 1 - Exercise Normal Precautions: This is the lowest advisory level for safety and security risk. There is some risk in any international travel. Conditions in other countries may differ from those in the United States and may change at any time.
Level 2 - Exercise Increased Caution: Be aware of heightened risks to safety and security. The Department of State provides additional advice for travelers in these areas in the Travel Advisory. Conditions in any country may change at any time.  
Level 3 - Reconsider Travel: Avoid travel due to serious risks to safety and security. The Department of State provides additional advice for travelers in these areas in the Travel Advisory. Conditions in any country may change at any time. 
Level 4 – Do Not Travel: This is the highest advisory level due to greater likelihood of life-threatening risks. During an emergency, the U.S. government may have very limited ability to provide assistance. The Department of State advises that U.S. citizens not travel to the country or to leave as soon as it is safe to do so. The Department of State provides additional advice for travelers in these areas in the Travel Advisory. Conditions in any country may change at any time. "

another advisory:

"Women's Safety
Sexual assault occurs frequently in The Bahamas, particularly near hotels, in hotel rooms, in casinos, on cruise ships and on the beach. Reported incidents are on the rise in Nassau, including Paradise Island. In some cases, the victim was drugged.
- be wary when embarking on jet-ski rides with licensed or unlicensed operators, as several incidents of sexual assault have been reported
- avoid excessive consumption of alcohol and avoid using drugs
- dont accept rides from strangers or from unlicensed taxi drivers"

(ive know about this since i was kid while vacationing there. i always tell this to the locals ive talked too, and they always tell me these are lies. knowing that this is on the trip advisory for the world to see, looks like im not the only one who knows the truth.) 

"Spiked food/drinks
Never leave food or drinks unattended or in the care of strangers. be wary of accepting snacks, beverages, gum or cigarettes from new acquaintances. these items may contain drugs that could put you at risk of sexual assault and robbery."

(to me this is pretty much common sense, ive learned to do this from the start.. no matter what country i am in. most of the time, i rather not eat or drink anything because you dont know what it's laced with. and knowing me and my allergies i sure as hell do not want to be in a hospital dying because they cant treat me. i basically will eat at restaurants i trust. and eat food that we bought from the store.)  

Credit card and ATM fraud occurs in The Bahamas, especially in Nassau. Be cautious when using debit or credit cards:
- pay careful attention when your cards are being handled by others
- use ATMs located in well-lit public areas or inside a bank or business
- avoid using card readers with an irregular unusual feature
- cover the keypad with one hand when entering your PIN
- check for any unauthorized transactions on your account statements."

(however the crappy part of this... most places on say paradise island, you're not allowed to pay in cash anymore. you have to use your cards.. and that is why more people are getting their identity stolen, because they do this a lot to the tourists. and you cant get away from it because they wont allow you to use cash. and i personally, dont use cards, i have cash on me. so a lot of times i cant buy food or i cant buy this or that, because i dont have a credit card.. however, the one timeshare i stay at we have room keys.. that are used as a paying card...and you pay at the end of your trip. but if you're not careful your tab will be huge.)

on that note, i do know what im talking about.. im not just an "outsider", "white trash", "white bitch",  "frequent tourist", "tourist", or whatever you want to call me. i do pay attention to everything that is happening around me, because i dont want to die on an island with crappy health care that most likely will kill me. nor do i want to use a "bush doctor" and die even faster. i also dont want to be driven by taxi drivers who dont like white people, clearly do not like females, and have a bad attitude too. i dont want to be friends with liars, doesnt matter who the fuck you are, stop lying. 

my advice to you, fix your damn country before the tourism stops and youll be out of money.


(i wrote this to a friend who asked me if i received anything in the mail from her.. and i havent because well i havent gone to the mail box because of crap that has happened.. so i told her what has been happening..)

basically we had a death in the family that no one told us. we found out by facebook of the death, and we found out the location for the funeral by instagram. and apparently when we showed up to the funeral thing, everyone was surprised and shocked to see us there, because they were told we werent coming... by the people who didnt tell us there was a death. (14 people.. my family - mom dad, siblings, nieces and nephews, werent told... and it was my dad's mom who died)

my nana died may 1st and the thing was on saturday in edmonton. and the people that my mom told who were at that thing, were disgusted and shocked that we werent told anything as to what was happening.

so we have that to deal with, and i forgot to mention to my mom last week when you mentioned to me that i should be getting something shortly, that shortly part went over my head. but ill make sure ill let my mom know, so when she goes out tomorrow she can stop at the mail box to see if there is any mail.

and the worst part of all of this is my oldest sister is the most hurt by all of this, becaus she is now realizing who these people are and they arent good people. and they treat everyone like shit. and the cousins she thought she was close too, she isnt. they kept this all from her as well. and i feel sorry for my sister who has to learn this the hard way from nana dying. like that whole family is basically dead to me. you dont do that to your own family members. and knowing that they only talked to us because nana was a live and now she's not. it makes it even more sickening. and there are people who were there at the funeral thing, that no one came up to to talk but my mom and i.. because now since nana died they dont have to talk to people who arent part of the family.. (being married in doesnt count)

and im annoyed still because my uncle's gf had to come talk to me when half the people left.. and decided to confront me about a whole different matter and basically made me feel extremely stupid because i didnt know what something meant.. and she couldnt explain herself and it was really a convo that shouldnt be talked about. but when she was talking to my parents and my mom asked the same question i did, apparently she could explain it and im like wtf.

[she came over to me and asked how are things and i was giving short answers because i honestly didnt want to talk to people. so i asked her how she was, to be polite you know. she then asked me if i have tried stem cell therapy or if ive heard about it.. and im like what is that. and she's like "it's a stem cell therapy". and im like "what is a stem cell?" she's like "it's a stem cell." and im like "what is the therapy part?" and she's like "you have a stem cell and they inject it into your body." like wtf how does this help me? and she told me that the treatment is in the states. and im like "who's paying for it.. like is your insurance or is it you?" and she's like "it's out of pocket." like if i was stupid or something. she went on explaining how this 70 year old who was in a wheelchair can walk again because she got this stem cell therapy done... (like is this supposed to make me feel better or something, because it's not...) and i told her that "well my foot is long gone and you cant treat it". and she went on saying "she (70 year old) was in a wheelchair, you can walk.." and i was going to go on about how me walking isnt really walking.. but i dont think she would understand why comparing me to a 70 year old isnt working out so well. nor did i want to be in the snapping mood and cry because this gf decided to come up to me and talk to me about treatment plans for something she herself hasnt even tried and wonder if i have done it. like HELL NO.

she even asked me about my eyes .. and he wanted to know how it went.. and im like thinking when was the last time i talked to her and what was it about... so i was like "i needed glasses, the lady told me she cant fix me, and i didnt go back." which was true. she apparently didnt like my response. but she also doesnt understand my track record with doctors. you really cant fix me so stop trying. but im glad she caught on with the way i was talking to her, she told me "ill talk to your dad after he's finished talking." and left.

but when we moved over to do whatever.. she pulled my dad away to talk to him.. and then i whispered to my mom that "so and so talked to me about stem cell therapy.. and wants to talk to dad about it". so my mom went over to the convo and asked her all about it... and guess what she did. she actually went into detail about what the fuck it was. however her explanation wasnt really an explanation she probably used words she doesnt even know or whatever. but she tried to explain it much better than when i asked the question.

like honestly, dont come talking to me about trying to fix me. dont compare me to other people who are like 40 years older than i am who is in a wheelchair. most people who see pictures of my feet and my legs, would question me why am i walking.. im not really walking. i make do. i cant even run nor can i jump. like if you see my foot it has adapted and everything has shifted. like it's not a healthy foot. and whoop de doo someone is able to walk again from stem cell therapy doesnt mean ill be able to get my life back that i lost 17 years ago. just like most people who get the same eye surgery i got (both eyes), they have perfect eye. me, hell no. it's going to be 2 years in next month since ive had double eye ball surgery with lens implants. my eye sight is still effed up. the only thing difference is i have implants and not lenses. i have more problems now than when i had glasses. at least with my glasses i could get away from them by removing my glasses.

so please do not talk to me about treatment. and please do not do this while we're at a gathering (funeral, celebration of life, whatever you want to call it) where everyone didnt want us to be there. like no. and never talk to me about this shit without my parents attention either. like no.

and if you're reading this i am talking about you and i dont want be in the same room as you anymore. you blew that one by talking to me, making me feel like im stupid or something, and thinking this will be the next "cure" because it "fixed" a 70 year old lady in a wheelchair. ] like this whole thing is really effed up. but because of this whole thing ive removed myself completely from my dad's side of the family. im drawing the line, putting my foot down, and i dont want to be part of it. i wasnt really that part of it anyways, but i still was nice to people. the way i was being treated when i was there on saturday, no. you dont do that to people. my whole family wasnt wanted to remember a loved one. and that is just a bunch of bullshit.

Friday, May 10, 2019


for those who have been paying attention to this blog very closely.. i have made a lot of changes...

ive deleted posts, ive changed a name/address of a blog (that didnt solve my problem), i moved some blog posts over from that blog to this blog, and then i deleted that blog. i also deleted another blog of mine, because really what's the point. i was going to delete my dear future husband blog, but im pretty sure ive made myself clear that the person i created that blog too is not my future husband. and there's a lot of good material on that blog that i dont want to be gone, and i dont want it on this blog either. so i kept that blog.

i also deleted my facebook page, i dont want to be known im a blogger to the world. i dont want that attention. plus the people who follow that page a lot of them, im not even friends with anymore because i deleted them.

people may not understand the pain im going through and i dont want to be reminded every day when i see people, oh by the way your ex fucked you over and now you have to live with yourself being this miserable unhappy person, and the country that gave you so much love and happiness, well that has been a lie and no one likes you. they like you because you are doing this and that, but really they dont actually like you. because if they did, youd still be the guy you thought youd be with for life. so yeah. no thank you, i dont want this shit in my life anymore.

i also have been unfollowing people on twitter, deleting lists, ive been unfollowing people on instagram and following people id like to follow. and the sad thing about instagram, ive had that account since 2012 and most of the people i was following came from the bahamas, and since that country just saying it makes me in tears because it's not my happy place i dont want to be following people from that country. plus, most of them i have no clue who they are to be honest.

i also dont want to be known as the person who supports bahamians, because really most of them i dont support. people never understood why i started what i did, it had nothing to do with loving the people that was the bonus it had to do with the country itself. but the people themselves ruined my love for the country. i received more love when people didnt know who i was compare to when people knew who i was and everyone wanted to add me. the amount of hate i received i didnt want. the amount of harassment i get, i still dont want. the amount of lies i continue getting, i still dont want. so no, this country isnt my happy place. and no i dont want to be part of it either. yes, i have kept some of my friends that i did see in person and i did meet, and i did spend time with. but most of the people im not friends with on social media.

and the amount of annoying people that are on twitter right, just shut up please. i dont need to be told it's not important what you wear to a funeral it's important that you go. and it's like no, it is important what i wear to a funeral because ill be in a car for like 3 hours to get there. i also will be in a room filled with people i probably dont like, mad at, or dont even know. so really, if i had a choice, i actually wouldnt go, because i didnt enjoy myself that much last time anyways, and the only fun thing about that time was the brunch we had the next day. but this time around we're not spending the night. and i still have no clue what im going to be wearing, and i have to shower some point today. and to make matters worse, im not sleeping well this month, my foot is causing me a lot of pain, and i dunno if i can even function well tomorrow to attend this funeral either.

a lot of stuff is happening to my life and i want everything to stop really i do.

I Went To SoundWaves... - 2

(this happened sept 2018)

Original Music Festival where i met a lot of  FAMOUS PEOPLE and i did my best to write a little message on each one's facebook that i met for the first time (minus Renee, i met her before). i wasnt able to write on everyone's wall, but i got a good amount of people to help me remember this day. here are my wall posts:

Thank you sooo very much for meeting me, giving me a button and signing it too (makes me smile each time i read the back and how you're my biggest fan). Im glad i was able to listen to you preform and have conversations with you. You are one powerful man. Your stories are so touching and raw too. Even got me crying too. You are extremely talented and you need to be heard. You are full of inspiration, and you help people with their own life difficulties. Ill continued to be your fan wherever you may go. Even if you stop doing music, youll still be in my mind and heart. And if your music is still accessible, ill still be playing it. Thank you again for being yourself. Being strong. Being alive. I still cant get over i met you. Thank you for being famous. ♥
photo credit: a gal

Im so glad i finally met you!!! Sorry it took me long to figure out who you were. But once it came to me.. i knew a lot about you. you are taller than I thought you'd be. You are a great person too. Sorry it wasnt a long visit. But yay, we finally met!

Oh MagicMan_242 i finally have met you and it was quite entertaining. It's almost like we have been friends for a long time. But seeing your skills and talent in person, it was just too real. Like those unicorn balloon hats... just wow. The card trick you did with my mom and i, that was pretty cool. I even watched you and i still dunno how you did it. I'm surprised i remembered my card. but yes, im glad we have finally met. Im also glad I was able to create you a picture and give it to you in person too! I hope it helped you with your sales, drawing customers in. I loved seeing it out in the opened, and im like that's my art! Soo coool. Im rambling. Thank you for being my friend. Thank you for being at the soundwaves music festival. And thank you for being famous! ♥
photo credit: the guy himself

Thank you so much for being you!!!!! I was so honored to be able to meet you at the soundwaves music festival. You are even cooler in person!!! I love watching you grow on social media and to be able to see you preform live, that was pretty awesome! I did my best to fill people in who "We The Few" is. I was chatting with a guy from Atlanta Georgia. He didn't even know bahamas had music besides the typical sounds. So you all did an excellent job, for being different. And you all got even more fans at the festival! It was so amazing to meet you!!!! Your style is pretty rad too. Keep on being you and thank you for being famous! ♥

Maz, the harry potter and comic book dude...not to forget the omg you really can sing guy from foreign sound. Thank you so much helping ben get tickets. Thank you for being there as well. I knew you were talented but not this talented. Like omg maz where have you been hiding. Thank you for signing another comic book of yours. I peeped through it and my jaw dropped when i saw nudity. im going to wait to read it when I refresh what happened in the first one. I still cant believe i met you. You are so calm and collective. Suspenders is a good look for you, ill send you information later on bahamian bow tie companies. And the new sound of the band.. omg, i wasnt expecting that. It was even better than your previous sound. And to hear you guys are going to have another album out.. omg that's amazing. I think youll be able to reach a greater international fan base with this rockin style of the band! Anyways, thank you for helping ben out. Thank you for being my friend as well. Thank you for being famous! Keep on being the talented skilled artist you are!!!! ♥

Thank you so much for attending Soundwaves Original Music Festival and showing off your work!!! And thank you so much for coming up and talking with me!!! I found you once and i saw you were busy painting a beautiful lady into a tiger princess type creature. And where i was standing i was pointing and saying "omg that's the painted chiq! Her work is amazing. I tweet her stuff on twitter and my followers just adore her!!!!" And now that ive met you i was able to tell you in person how much i love you and your work. how your fingers and exploding face gets me every time! Looking from your instagram to where you are now, youve grown alot. And im so very proud of you for everything that you do. Thank you so much for being famous! ♥

Where do i start with you... well for starters that hair of yours.. it's straight out of the comics! I love your voice, when you are singing/rapping sounds the same, as if i was listening to a recording. I kept on spotting you but in the blink of an eye, you disappeared. You're always on the move! im so glad i have finally met you!!! Thank you for being famous! ♥
photo credit: a gal

O.m.g. it's blade! Cant believe you were one of the first artists i met at Soundwaves Original Music Festival! You reminded me of a shy version of shabazz. And your artwork man, you have so much stuff going on.. but if you focus at just the work, you can see how much detail you have. And different sayings or notes you have added. Like you are a very talented artist and a very cool guy. Thank you for being famous! ♥

Thank you so much for being a part of Soundwaves Original Music Festival! I listened to your interview you had with tim and jay isaacs for savage talks, about the festival. And since they mentioned you were tall, that made it much easier to spot you in the crowds. The trio you have, all three of you sounded so flippen good. Your voices were meant for each other. Hearing Foreign Sound preform, now that had taken everyone on a whole new level. I was listening to the old songs from soundcloud, so i was very surprised with the new sound. I love it! And the amount everyone sweated, made the performance that much better!

Having you come up to me, and expressing how you felt. I honestly didn't know you actually liked me. I was shocked and stunned hearing all this love and appreciation coming from you. I dont always think/believe im being noticed or im making a difference. But hearing in person the feedback that i am and people can see the work that i put in. That just makes me want to shine even brighter and continue doing what i am doing.

Thank you for all that you do. And thank you for being famous! ♥ p.s. thanks for the button :D

Big BIg BIG thanks to you!!!!! You may have not known me or who I was before this event came to be. But because of your hard work and everyone that was a part of it. You all have made a dream of mine to come true. And i thank you so many times for it. I listened to the interview you had on savage talks, (i didn't want to miss it). I had it playing on my phone while coming home from being out of the city doing errands. And when i got home i switched over to the computer.

Knowing that you are canadian (so am i), i knew this show was going to be amazing. Canadians know how to put on music events! Im so very pleased of the turn out, much more than i had imagined. And i even talked with people who were on vacation too!

I was so glad i found you and able to talk to you. Plus i didnt want to go home without giving you your picture. You are doing amazing work and helping bahamas out so incredibly much. Continue being awesome and thank you you for being famous! ♥

P.s. thank you times infinity and beyond!

Girl, you spotted me and I was deer in the headlights, once you said your "artist" name... wait back up... instead of using "artist" you call yourself "The Art1st" which really says "The Art 1st" not "The Artist". Mindblown. can't believe it took me this long, some fan i am.

Anyways, once you said who you were, i couldn't believe that i was meeting you!!! I knew you as a track star, and now i know you as the rapper/singer.. who is a FEMALE coming from the BAHAMAS. Which are outnumbered by the male artists. Why i do my best to push the female artists so they can get the shots too.

You are a gifted soul. Dont let people bring you down, you are so talented and beyond your years. Continue shining that smile of yours, it's contagious and it makes everything happy.

Thanks for being famous! ♥

The precious moon i came to know and love. Im so very happy that you are in my life and we are able to see each other when im there. I loved meeting you the first time, and ill always love seeing you every time. You do so much for everyone and share the love you have with people too. It may be hard work at times or easy work as well, but what you do, only you can do. You were put on this earth for a reason and each day you continue to shine even brighter.

You are the moon that everyone looks up too. You are the moon that shines down so people can see where they need to go. You are the moon that brings happiness and positive energy to people and their lives. Thank you for being the precious moon in my life. Life wouldn't be the same, if there was no moon.

Thank you for being famous! ♥

I Went To SoundWaves...

(this happened sept 2018)


and OMG... the amount of LOVE, SUPPORT, and APPRECIATION i RECEIVED was AUHMAZING!!!!! i met a lot of people and i received a lot of hugs too. i even received some art work from BLADE, and a few buttons/pins from FERBFOREIGN SOUND, and SAVAGE 100. my boyfriend was able to get me a piece of artwork from TAI and another comic book from MAZ i even have one guy (THOMAS HAIRSTON)  who spotted me from instagram, and asked if he could draw me some day. LIKE OMG. like he isnt just the average person walking around.. he had his own booth of his ART WORK, and he asked if he could DRAW ME.. like ME?! hopefully the next time im on vacation, that will happen.

i finally met MagicMan_242 for the first time... if he didnt have a table infront of him.. he mostly likely would have "run" the same way i did. haha. he embraced me with a huge hug!!!! like he was really excited to see me and i was really excited to see him. plus, he really loved my art and used it as a sign to draw customers in... oooo magic! oh on another note... if you ever do meet him.. and you have money... buy a dozen of unicorn hats! those balloon unicorns are pretty magical!!!!!

i also watched WE THE FEW preform live.... i ended up talking with this dude... and his "brother" and how they came from atlanta, and they were living on a boat or in new york or something.. i really wasnt paying that close attention.. because here im trying to listening to WE THE FEW but instead i went in to my FAMOUS PEOPLE mode. so the guy was surprised that bahamas has this rock punk band, he only thought bahamas was about "reggae and junkanoo". he also thought JUDAH THA LION was a band and he was surprised that they would be preforming in bahamas. i myself have no clue who this band he speaks of i just know who JUDAH THA LION is... (sadly.. i only know him by his voice... and this guy was feet away from me... and i could have asked for his autograph but i didnt know that was him... and when he was preforming live.. i was busy doing something else so i didnt see what he looked like.... until it was too late...)

i went on explaining to this guy, how i know WE THE FEW and everything that i knew about them. i basically raved about MIZ BREEZY and her DRUMMING SKILLS. because that's the only person i knew that was in the band. i also learned while watching them live, that TAI the gal who does art (she may be doing comics too.. sorry, i should have studied your table more, but i was shocked at how good you were). the guy who is also in this band, sorry i dont know your name.. he came up to me and told me thanks for the support or something along that nature.

(i met a lot of people this day, people i didnt know but knew me and people i did know and im still in shocked.. and i had to wait until i came back home to canada to use my computer to write about it.. and it's already have been a week since it happened. so my memory is a little fuzzy. so im doing my best to write this.)

speaking of bands... i also watched FOREIGN SOUND live... and they do not at all sound like what they have on their soundcloud... and boy am i ever impressed!!!! like holy shit guys... i didnt know you were that much of a rock band!!!!! i still believe if they were in calgary alberta, or just canada period.. they would have sold out concerts. and MAZ, he can really sing!!!!

SAVAGE 100... OMG... i wish their set was longer.. however most of these groups that i watched, i wish they were longer... but this one wished they were on a bigger stage and it was longer.. and everyone could have sang their songs. i was behind the "stage" listening to them... and oh man... they are da bomb!!! one of the guys (CODA) he didnt believe that i was coming... but he was excited to see me. my boyfriend got to see SHABAZZ preform live as well... (that's his favorite rapper..) ooo it happened so fast. i met people who i didnt meet at the recording session i was at, and i listened to songs being preformed.. and the crowd was having a good time.. and before you know it, it was over. so bahamians if you are reading this.. PLEASE BOOK SAVAGE 100 AT YOUR NEXT EVENT!!!!!

 i also met FERB. i met him during the day. and i listened to him preform at the poetry lounge. (this lounge.. it was a nice scenic venue... you had a lake to one side of you, and a forest to the other... but the people's language shouldnt be for the public ears... especially when kids were at this event...). anyways, i love ferb and i love his music so i was happy that i got to see him. he isnt the typical guy, he has gone through a lot of life already, and he is teaching the world what life is like in his eyes through his music. and i applaud him for doing that. we had a long talk together, he did make me cry.. just the way he says stuff. he moves people, and is full of inspiration. id like to meet him again.

i met some photographers that i knew or they knew me. i met some artists' girlfriends as well, this one (maz's girlfriend), knew who i was but i didnt know who she was. my boyfriend knew who she was, i didnt know until later on. anyways, she is a beautiful soul, i had to come up to her and tell her that she looked really beautiful and i loved her hair. i dont remember everything that she told me, but she thanked me for supporting maz or the bahamian artists in general. i needed to hear all that she said, because it helped me know that im doing something good and that i should continue doing it. some times i dont feel like im making a difference or what im doing isnt good enough.. but hearing everyone's feedback when they met me in person, it was one huge pat on the back. i didnt know i meant that much to everyone. nor thought my support was helping people.

i also met THE PAINTED CHIQ near the end... basically before i was leaving.. she came up to me. this girl is so skilled... she gets me half the time with her pictures. there are times where i believed she blew up her fingers or her face. she painted this one photographer's girlfriend.. (who also is a sweetie as well). and her work reminded me of a tiger princess. anyways, i asked the gal, if she is still human or if she believed that she is what is painted on her. (apparently not everyone gets asked this question and i caught her off guard i believe... i dont think she understood what i was asking..) so i explained to her what i meant, that say if you get painted a kitty cat.. some people will turn themselves completely into a kitty cat and start licking themselves (which i attempted to lick my hand to like my forehead and purred). the best result was, this guy who didnt know she was there. got scared and swore. and im like see he thought you werent human.

overall, it was a great experience and im glad that i was able to attend. hopefully i can attend more of these. plus, my flag got even more autographs!!!!

edit: they added a video from the event, and the artwork that i did for Magic For The People appeared in the video!!!!

How High - Music Video

(this happened july 2018)


and you all are like why is she so damn excited for a music video about being How High?! well, youll be this damn excited too if you see yourself with SHATON in a music video!!!!!!!! like OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!!!!!!

"neat-o! you made it into a music video!"
"you made it!! you're a star"
"cool. looks like it was fun."

"that's so awesome"
"woo hoo!!! Really great song and so excited to have seen the video. Very well done. Song i in my head - Such a good singer, love his voice!! Great work Shaton."
"wow awesome"
"very cool!"

"wow! You're in the video...great job!"
"sweet i like it mellow with a deep message awesome lady"
"that's so awesome i agree he has a beautiful voice. you look awesome in the video."

"you're famous"
"OMG CONGRATS GIRL!!!!! LOOKS LIKE YOU GUYS HAD A LOT OF FUN MAKING THAT VIDEO! You've made it. My friend is famous now in the Bahamas!"
"SHUT UP!!!! that is so neat. congrats girl! BTW Elissa, you're stunning. as usual"
"that scene in the bathroom where he's like 'the fuck?!' I cracked up lol."
"That’s so awesome. You look great and he’s got a beautiful voice"
"you got a ton of face time in that video! and what a nice song, too!"
"you look like you are really having fun!"
"Definitely! It's really very good! I enjoy the song and video!"
"How exciting is that?!?!? I am in awe!" "Shaton is a beautiful singer from the Bahamas" "Gorgeous voice!!"
"that's a cool track and a cool video!"

Follow/Support Shaton:

Shaton - How High

(this happened i believe march 2018)

Shaton has a single called How High and this is my review on his song:

the meaning of this song is wanting to take a pill to basically remove yourself from reality and let yourself be high and free and lifted from what's happening around you... is a powerful message.

not only are you letting the listeners know that you're not perfect that you do have your own problems in life, and that you wanna be free from them. and if the only way to do that is to take something and you have that x amount of time to feel free from your life. power to you.

because there is something that can be done, there is something that you can take, and there is something that makes you feel better.

and the world as a whole needs to be in a better place from all this hate that is around us.

however, im not saying you should be living on pills to be high 24/7, because there are other forms of medication you can take that can help you be free from your own life. if you are seriously that depressed and such. nor do i want you to drink poison until your death either to escape everything.

im just saying in general, it's good to be able to feel free from the life you are living in, and able to be in say your happy place where nothing bad can happen. and your song how high, helps people to understand that they are not alone, they can have a relief in something, and that your voice will always sound like an angel ♥

"It’s not meant to be taken literal btw")



Shaton's voice to me sounds like an angel, i love his voice so much. it's calming, it's soothing, and he really can sing. it's nice to be able to take a step back and just admire his voice. a lot of artists out here are more in the pop/rap stages and this guy just sings. (there are sections in his songs where he does rap, but singing is his strong suit. the more i listen to his rap sections, im starting to believe that is what he sounds like when he talks. his rap voice is completely different from his singing voice.) he's one of my favorite bahamian artists (yes, im going to admit that), because he is that good. everyone around the world should be listening to his music.

speaking about listening to his music around the world, there is a guy called Johnny Greg who has a song with Shaton called Run Away (afro remix).  what is cool about this song is more the fact of the location of these two guys. Shaton is from the Bahamas and Johnny Greg is from South Africa. like how cool is that?! plus, im in Canada who loves both their style of music and share it all over twitter.

here is a list of my favorite songs and why
HIGHWAY DRIVING: the first time i heard this song, was the first time i viewed the music video for it. because of this video, i fell in love with this voice. this video and the song, made me wanted to listen to all of his songs (which i did).
HISTORY: this song gets stuck in my head, it's extremely catchy and it's very good.
MAKE ME OVER: really captures his sound of his voice.
REBEL 4 LOVE: has a great message
NEVER LAND:  has a mixture of singing from Shaton and rapping from Bey Chaino
GET TO KNOW ME BETTER: it has a great beat and good lyrics, i wouldnt be surprised if people dance to it.
SUPERMAN: it's just a really good song.
MIRATE: he also sings in another language
BLAME ON ME: it's close to home and reminds me of the life i had, being in an abusive relationship(s).
RUN AWAY: the beat is sick, the lyrics get stuck in my head, and i just love this song
ID DIE WITHOUT YOU:  omg his voice ♥
HOW HIGH: this song is just amazing, it has a great message too, it's catchy, and it gets stuck in my head.